Our Teaching Turning Point
Francine* started attending our group classes in the late Spring of 2006. We had been married for approximately two years when she began taking classes from us. As each of the two of us had full teaching schedules, we rarely were fortunate to teach group classes together. Due to that fact, Chris had been the instructor of most of the beginning level classes Francine* had taken at our ballroom. At some point, my schedule changed, and I was able to co-teach those classes with Chris.
Within a couple of weeks of us teaching that group class together, we decided to dive into the topic of Lead & Follow: what connection really is, and how dance proficiency really comes from the correct balance and understanding of each person dancing their role. Well, that’s where the trouble began… at least for Francine*!
Francine* was a divorced woman of “middle to later “ middle age. She was probably only five feet tall, a little pudgy, with long brown hair, brown tortoise-shell glasses, and seemingly, a perpetual scowl of skepticism. At least that particular facial expression seemed to be glued on, once we began co-teaching the class, and focusing on connection and the correct role of each person.
After 3 or 4 weeks, it all came to a head - a show down of sorts… during class… on the dance floor… in front of the 20+ other people in the class. After weeks of nearly constant grumbling, questioning and belligerence, Francine* had “Had enough!” She could not understand WHY we had to teach Lead & Follow, or connection, or role differentiation, and be so steadfast in doing so. She believed that (with her five whole weeks of dance training and experience), the ideas of: teamwork, connection, balance, and each person doing 100% of their part (i.e. their role) was… HOGWASH! She was tired of it, and we had to stop teaching that way!! (Honestly, she sounded more like 6 than 60!)
Well, as you can imagine, we were stunned. The whole studio was silent - it seemed as though even the clock was standing still, as if even it wanted to see what would happen next. After a few awkward seconds, Chris regained his composure and found his voice. Publicly he thanked Francine* for her views, stated that we would not be changing how we taught our classes, in our studio, asked the rest of the group class participants to practice on their own for a few minutes, asked me to get the business checkbook, and escorted Francine* to the seating area. Francine* was given a refund for the balance of group classes for which she had pre-paid, we both stated that we hoped she could find classes elsewhere that were more to her liking, and with that we walked her to the door.
From that point on, we addressed each and every group class, private lesson, private group class, workshop and seminar that we taught with a renewed vigor for teaching appropriate roles on and off the dance floor. That was the impetus for us to focus on connection, and how the concepts and principles of Lead and Follow are integral not only to couples dance, but to life in general - especially in marriage.
I was, and still am, so proud of Chris for how he handled that situation. In an instant, he seamlessly and instinctively took on the role of Leader in our business, our family and our marriage. Prior to that incident, we had not worked through our own roles, in our own marriage. I know that the Lord directed Chris as to how to act and respond to Francine* in that moment. He gave Chris the presence of mind to act and the words to say; He gave me the willingness of obedience to Chris, as I witnessed him transform into my Leader. That situation was such a blessing - a huge challenge, but an amazing blessing!
*Name changed.
Michelle Small
